Why being fat sucks #4

Just thinking out loud here this morning, brainstorming a laundry list of why I hate being a fat cow.

• Walking hurts. Normal people can walk two blocks without pain. I want to be a normal people and do that too.
• Nice clothing. I can't wear it. Stuck in big-ass jeans and baggy t-shirts. 
• Cute shoes. Sorry, but they look stoopid holding up my fat ass.
• Bike. I wanna ride it without scarring the neighbors for life.
• Stairs. Ow. 'Nuff said about that.
• The embarrassment of having to say "sorry, I can't ... "
• Seat belt in someone else's car and that "oh gods, please let it fit" moment.
• Airplane seats (and seat belts). Is there anything more embarrassing than having to ask for a seat belt extender? Or pretending that you're buckled in when you're not and praying nobody notices?
• Okay, I'll admit it: Housework is exhausting. That's why my house is a freakin' disaster right now. 
• Fear of imminent heart attack. Yeah. Seriously. 
• Grocery shopping qualifies as exercise.
• Being horribly self-conscious in public because I just know everyone is staring at me. Especially if I'm carrying a drink or food of any kind. 
• Joint pain. Yeah, I know my knee, hip, and ankle hurt because they're supporting so much weight. 
• Lower back pain. Likewise. And can't do much of anything without that hurting.
• Leg going numb from simply standing around for 10 minutes. Normal people can do that without discomfort.
• Swimsuit. No. I used to actually like going swimming. 
• The scale at the doctor's office. NOT my friend.
• Sex. Yeah. The idea of getting naked and someone else not just looking but touching ... uck. I'd kinda like to get some again someday, but ... no.
• Going to a restaurant and worrying about fitting in the booth. 
• Getting hurt more easily. A slip can actually do serious damage. 
• Being lonely. Yeah, back to the whole "don't want anyone to see or touch" thing. Can't imagine finding someone who would find all this lovable. 
• Toenail clipping. Forget buffing and polishing. 
• Bad skin. Yeah, I still break out like a teenager. Lovely. 
• Tiny little bike saddle. Big fat arse. Lycra. 

That's probably enough for one morning.