Sunday, August 15, 2010

Lament of a Fat Chick and "Some Assembly Required"

Got over my funk about the scale yesterday by picking myself up by the scruff of the neck and throwing myself into the shower, then into clothing, then into the car. Spent two hours at Home Depot buying everything from a toolbox to safety gear (goggles, gloves) to about double the bits I figure I'll need for this first project.

Got it all home and off-loaded everything to the back patio, then hauled everything from earlier this week out of my living room to the patio too. Took a short break and had a phone convo with my little brudder, then started unpacking the table saw and putting it together.

The instructions that came with that saw assume a Y chromosome, I think. They certainly weren't written with the assumption that the person having to follow them has never even used a table saw before! Gods. Getting the bloody thing out of the box was as far as I managed to get before having to hit Google.  

Install the blade: Yeah. Nowhere did it say "remove that metal plate that's in your way first." The picture just showed a blade already installed and that metal plate in place. I'm looking down into that little slit in the top where the blade's supposed to go and thinking "unscrew what where?"

Install the blade guard: "Slip the guard clamp over the blade guard peg." Mmmkay, this is obviously the blade guard clamp. Which peg would that be, then? Back to Google I trot. Right, THAT peg. And obviously I need to loosen the screws on the clamp. That were clearly not meant to be loosened, judging by how tight they were. Took a bit of ingenuity and a wrench to get those suckers free.

In the end I spent most of the day up and moving around, way more motion than my old fat body's used to these days, which is kinda the idea. My back and legs are sore. And I still have to finish putting that sucker together. Hopefully I'm getting it right, anyhoo. If you hear a loud bang from the general vicinity of my backyard that'll be me plugging in the table saw and finding out that I did it wrong. *grin*

Just waking up here, drinking a cup of coffee, waiting for dawn so I can go finish the assembly. And for some reason I've got an old Ray Stevens song running through my head this morning: Power Tools.

Seems appropriate, yesno?

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